i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
