I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
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I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
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My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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