yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
