a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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