last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
