I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
