we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
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I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
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There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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