I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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