you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
