I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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