So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
