Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
