I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
