You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
