Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
