dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
