i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
