Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
