It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog