nut hugger
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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