This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
