Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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