You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize