apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
