i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Randomize
