He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
