it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
