if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
