There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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