I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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