its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize