I wanna bring you to show and tell
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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