So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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