that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
