Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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