This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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