I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
