Betty ford says i'm here all night
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
