I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
