i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
