Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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