I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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