So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize