Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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