I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And then my night got REAL pukey
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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