I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
