She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
