ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
