I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
