I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
