He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize