I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
