Pappa wants mamma naked
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
