Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
