She's JV to your varsity
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
