Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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