Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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