Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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